ELISA, 19

I am all women experiencing racism.

I’m a 19 years old girl who was born in Guinea Conakry, Africa. My beautiful Africa.

I came to Slovenia with my parents when I was 3 years old. It was horrible for me coming to a country full of people that were so mean, saying all those racist words, calling me and my family all the names that they could come up with. It was just horrible. I can still hear it now but I choose to ignore it. My mom wasn’t happy with how I looked either, so she always wanted me to dress decent and over the top and wanted me to lose weight so I can be skinny. She thought I was fat when in reality, I never was. I went through all sorts of diets and also starved myself a few times to a point that I had to go to the hospital to be fed by force. I was also in children hospital because I wanted to kill myself several times. I couldn’t take it anymore - not being good enough for my mom and the world. I was bullied and actually didn’t have friends that were actually truthful, they were two-faced. I was sexually assaulted, beaten, mistreated, went through unhealthy relationships, been threatened with knife and the lists goes on. But instead of becoming a bad person and doing drugs, I took it as a challenge to prove that I am strong and powerful and I will reach my goal of becoming a model and a fashion designer. I will use my horrible past as a motivational speech and help others.

Just when I thought people got used black people being around them, a few days ago I was threatened with a knife. Recently an old man yelled through the whole bus a racial slur and an old lady

was laughing at me.

I still love my skin color no matter what. I am proud that I am black. I am proud that I am different. I am all women, who love the skin they’re in.

My legs are muscular because I used to do all kind of sports and now I go to the gym almost everyday day, because for me staying fit and healthy is very important. I sometimes just don’t like my legs and feel insecure because of my mother’s comments, but deep down I know they’re beautiful. I am learning to love my body and being confident every day.